I'm Deeply In Love.

"The heart is a temple of this power; we must go there. The Violet Light energy provides the opening of this temple in a new way, as it casts aside and gets rid of all the thick overgrowth that hides the access to the temple.  Then it blasts the doors open and goes in to ignite the power of love contained within the soul.  This is the gift that we are given in these times of change and immense evolution: a fast way into the power source of our lives."

Source: "The Violet Light:The Power That Changes Everything / You Need To Free Your Soul Power / by Paco Alarcon Kahan.

I am in a new relationship with The Violet Light.  Presently, I am a love struck soul totally besotted by the incredible love we each are held in by God.  My relationship is new with this amazing Lover because now it is intimate. I am already feeling the cracks and loosening of the most rigid parts of me which just could'nt be softened or broken before - ever - no matter what practices I did. Something wild is happening now and I am feeling feelings I have never experienced in my life and it is only the beginning. I am kind of breaking down within slowly, but surely.  Its like the energy of the rising sun at dawn. As it begins to surface - almost peeping at the world with its amazing light hues - you are held in wonder by its sheer God Power and Presence. The rising is slow within me but it is just as spectacular! Its now rushing me to come to Its Light. It coaxes and soothes me as it brings up within me very gently the most deepest pains I was experiencing my whole life and showing me that its okay ... everything is just going to be okay.  I know this to be absolutely true because today was the first day since the last ten years, that I DANCED!!!  I danced early morning (5.30 am) to the beats of the most appropriate music.  Yes, I danced.  I could'nt earlier because there was too much pain in my body, but today I danced.  I was inspired to view this video which came into my inbox, and I did. And before I knew it, I was dancing with wild abandon. The happy faces of all the people featuring in this video made it so easy to fall into beat. And there was not a trace of pain.

 

I can see more clearly now. There's too much heartache in worldly love. You can never get it right no matter how hard you try. If by chance you score, be sure the experience is only fleeting and love flies out of the window the moment circumstances change. For those who appear to have love in their life (be it family, relationships, friendships, etc.), we think of them to be so lucky, or perhaps they have really good karma, or perhaps God is just unfair! I used to feel that constantly. The lack of it depressed me alot. I felt I was being severely punished. I had to constantly work hard for approval. No matter hard I tried, it never seemed enough. Don't get me wrong. I am loved by my husband and those who matter to me. But that love is not the love that I am talking about. I am talking about the very ESSENCE OF WHO WE ARE. I'm talking about  the Love that rains down from heaven. Ofcourse we often confuse it all. But all of these thoughts I held about myself are fast changing now. Here's the truth: none of the beliefs we hold about love in this world is true at all - not one bit! Once you feel this with your very being, the Truth will set you free. The world actually knows nothing about love. The love in the world is counterfeit and a cheap imitation of the Real thing which comes directly from The Source of all Love. Only Grace opens our hearts and eyes. Grace comes from God and there's an abundance of Grace if you turn your attention heavenwards. The Love that exists beyond the shadows of the worldly love, we are told by the Masters, is far beyond anyone's imagination and it is the real deal.  It is waiting with open arms for every soul to come back to its Divine Embrace. My Heart knows this completely. We all have this deeper and inner knowing already.  I'm in Love.  Deeply in love. 

My Life feels so perfect and divine now and I can see how everything - every single thing in my life - was exactly how it was meant to be. Without all of that I would'nt be here right now, this moment giving praise and thanks for who I AM now.

 What can I say, I am in Love ... With God!!  My gratitude is boundless.  Praise the Lord O my Soul and all that is within me praise His Holy Name. Aum. Amen.

Truly, life is more than we perceive ..............

Truly, life is more than we perceive with our naked eyes. It has taken me a lifetime to actually experience this personally. The people in our lives help us to push past our small thinking in such a big way and they are not even aware of it.  We are completely ignorant of how important we are to not only our own learning, but to the teaching and understanding of another's by the very presence of our existence. That's quite something. Imagine, what would happen if we can actually become conscious of the importance of the very reasons we are alive in this moment of time. Thinking this way is eternal. Whether we know it or not, the very purpose of life is to be  a leading light for someone else, even if the candle is not burning so brightly.  Its blurred temporarily. But that blurriness itself serves a purpose.  We think  we are 'doing' stuff - spiritual stuff, life stuff, emotional stuff, friendship stuff, family stuff, etc. ... that its all just stuff ...but its not just stuff. Everything is serving a purpose. Its not only not just stuff, its stuff that we are actually not doing at all. Its just being done through the perfect flow of life.  Its why we cannot understand most things in life.  And I am content with this understanding for the moment.  After all, its not me.  Then who is it?  Good question. I think its God just being, thinking and doing God.

God. I love the idea of God. It keeps me busy.

To All My Mothers

Death comes to all.  It leaves a vacuum that is difficult to fill.  As a witness to someone dying, the experience can be whatever one makes of it.  After a while everything is back to normal and Life goes on.  It is when life goes back to normal, that everything actually begins to appear different ... the absence of that person is felt in the smallest ways and in the tiniest details.  No matter who that person is, no matter what the relationship, no matter how the person treated you, if you have been in that person's life closely especially in the dying years, you still feel the pain deep in your soul.  If the relationship never healed, the one left behind is left wondering what to do next in this painful absence.  

In truth, there is nothing one can do.  The only thing that is possible is to live through those feelings and take it deep into your core, open yourself completely and totally to The Divine.  Surrender.  Fall on your knees. Raise your hands in gratitude because all that is going to happen after that is going to be SPECTACULAR!!. New lessons will emerge.  Synchronicities, Healing, Awareness and Freedom will rise up  like a rainbow. You have to wait with open arms and an open heart.  Create new intentions.  Recreate your life. Become conscious about your life like never before.  Choose Life in every possible way in all your interactions. Choose The Divine because that is exactly what you will need especially, and the most, at the time of your own death.  Every death portends change. Death is always a good omen.  It precedes Resurrection. 

Suffering is a choice.  Choose Freedom.  

Suffering is a gift.  Choose Acceptance.  

Suffering is healing. Choose Life.  

At all times choose Life.  Life fosters.  

Life makes Death a Renewal and a Resurrection if you have made Spirit choices.  And no matter what happens, no matter what dis-ease or illness befalls you, you will feel and experience your Higher Self  in its grandest version.  It will be standing TALL and EXPANSIVE embracing YOU.  Every Soul has that massive and expansive ring of love circling it, but only the one that has been God conscious will actually feel Its Love, Light and Enfoldment. And Death will become Amrita, Nectar. Transition will be Homecoming. 

Many years ago when I started reading The Bhagavad Gita, I remember how fascinated I was by the sheer beauty of the words in this incredible Book.  It was a time when I was trying to find my Soul and my Self. Every word IS Bliss. The fact that I am still a Spiritual Enthusiast and a Wannabe Mystic twenty years later is because The Bhagavad Gita assures us that NOTHING THAT WE LEARN SPIRITUALLY IN THIS LIFE WILL EVER BE WASTED.  Spiritual learning continues eternally in a seamless way.  That was the best thing ever for me spiritually.  Its the only reason that I have not given up my path to my inner Self.  It continues blissfully, no matter what.

In his amazing book "The Second Coming of Christ: The Resurrection of the Christ Within You", Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda says beautifully:

"In titling this work The Second Coming of Christ, I am not referring to a literal return of Jesus to earth. He cane two thousand years ago and, after imparting a universal path to God's kingdom, was crucified and resurrected; His appearance to the masses is now not necessary for the fulfillment of His teachings.  What is necessary is for the cosmic wisdom and divine perception of Jesus to speak again through each one's own experience and understanding, of the Infinite Christ Consciousness that was incarnate in Jesus. That will be His true Second Coming." ~ Paramahansa Yogananda

And that is what one's Life true calling is: Awakening to the Christ Consciousness within one's self and embodying The Christ Consciousness - not a tall order, if we DECIDE we want this to be the only Truth in our lives.  Atleast, that is what it has become for me now - my Soul is deeply longing for its perfect unfoldment.

Tibetan Buddhism refers to all Souls as Mothers.  In "Training the Mind", the seventh verse summarizes the true Buddhist practice in the following words:

In brief, may I offer benefit and joy

To all my mothers, both directly and indirectly,

May I quietly take upon myself

All hurts and pains of my mothers.

The meaning of these lines can be read in full here: http://www.dalailama.com/teachings/training-the-mind/verse-7

I dedicate this blog to my Mother, Edna, who passed on from this incarnation to her new assignment in Spirit on 7th November 2014. Her life has tremendous meaning for me and has served the purpose for which her soul incarnated as my mother.  May she be at peace always.

I also dedicate this writing to all my Mothers (every person - both male and female -  who has crossed my Life path ever since I was born into this world) because every single one of YOU, no matter who you are, and how you have impacted my life, YOU have been instrumental in kindling my Inner Flame. May each of YOU be happy and at ease.

AUM

Namaste!

I have stopped believing in the world.

One of the reasons I love Joel Goldsmith's teachings is that he gets right down to it.  He gets me right into the heart of the matter - God.  His writings have been very inspirational to me and has brought me back into the sense of my own True Reality the numerous times I have fallen or strayed away from my Center.  

Recently I have been experiencing a whole range of emotional meltdowns which have been really extreme.  I think it feels extreme because it is on its way out and the ego is trying to kick and scream to stay.  It tricks me back into hanging on to it by declaring promises of change. It pretends to be nice, be good, be better and if that is not enough, it wants to engage me in dead end, so-called supportive questions like "what do you think,eh?" making me believe that it truly wants to help me, but all the time knowing that its motive is completely different.  Of course not! it does'nt want to be helpful!!  It wants to feed on the usual chaotic way in which I have responded in the past.  The moment the environment begins to show signs of peaceful existence, the ego will not have it.  It stirs up the dust, kicks and puffs, cries and gets all victimized bringing attention on to itself and thereby starting another flare-up.  In the past I have fallen for it like a zillion times. But now, finally, its over - my tryst with the ego.  I have stopped responding to its bates.

You know, there are so many teachings out there, so many scriptures, and really good books and teachers all teaching you to overcome the ego. You want to change, you want to overcome and be better at responding the noises in your head, in the world, etc. That's why you go for training sessions and courses and every teacher expects that now his/her student is going to come out a winner overcoming the ego. According to my experience its not that simple. Its not so much the intention as it is the attention to the change we propose to make. Breaking away from the ego is the most difficult. That is part of the game play on Earth. If it were that easy the world would be a different place to behold already.  In a way actually, the world IS Heaven to behold - but only once the world I see in my mind is removed. 

Its not the big things to overcome.  Its the smallest, tiniest, the most subtle aspects of ourselves that are forgotten because we somehow have not been used to dealing with those aspects.  We are constantly looking at the big things, big tragedies, big wars, big viruses, big diseases ... all out there.  But all these 'out there' scenarios continue to get churned and reproduced by these small little 'sins' we have not even noticed within..  Every moment, there is a challenge.  Not because we have a competitive god, but because the Soul needs constant nurturing and attention.  The Soul needs for me to constantly remain in my "I AM-ness". And depending on how much effort one puts into that change, one will understand one's life in exactly that proportion. Wherever your feet have landed in your consciousness in any given situation and how one responds to it, from that space of understanding will one respond.  For each soul it is different and each must tend to its own garden.  No one from the world can be fully involved in that process. And so, for that we need intense attention to the mind. After all, haven't we heard so often that the world is only an effect?  Its like watching TV.  You can only see the programmes that are available to see. And now in this digital age, you can watch only the programmes you pay for. There are many freebies, but you don't want them because they are not worth watching! So, what is the state of my spiritual finances? That is a good question I keep asking myself.

These past couple of months have been enlightening and awakening in more ways than one. I can feel the strength of my own will has gotten better.  I rely less and less on the 'outside' word.  When I literally open my physical eyes, I see the light of the world, which is the effect of all that got sowed in the 'darkness' behind closed eyes.  I noticed how I could explore my "I Am-ness" in that wide open space behind my closed eye lids.  It is a vast terrain and filled with divine potentiality.  No disturbance can enter to help me 'create' a life of joy for myself.  I just have to sit in that place more and more and my rhythm begins to come back to normal.  I feel beyond better; I feel a bliss, a healing, a deep relaxation.  And sometimes I can hear the noises in my head trying to disturb my peace ... noises of the ego that has been dominating my life through various ways and means and it is precisely in this moment when I declare I AM NOT THAT PERSON that I suddenly feel free.  I have believed the world for so long and made all the opinions and comments and criticisms of the world my own. I have buried myself in guilt my whole life. Not anymore. I have believed myself to be all of those people that I am not and I have suffered tremendously for it. Not any more. I no longer pretend to be happy and at ease.  I Am what I Am in this moment, and if this moments feels divine, then I try to stay in that moment for as long as it is possible for me.  If it does not feel divine, then I still try to stay in it as long as possible to let it pass.  And now, as I sit in the deep darkness of my mind shinning with The Light of The Ultimate Reality, I can say with ease and calm I simply Am.  I AM. Period. I Am not this. I Am not that. I AM not the other.  I am simply I AM.  No extensions. No tags. AND THEN I WATCH IT ALL FALLING AWAY ONE BY ONE . All the judgments stop. I look forward to that moment in my consciousness when I can just BE without effort. I AM. And each and every time it feels blissful.

I have found myself going back to this guidance of Joel Goldsmith very often to bring me back to where I belong.  I love this piece. Its filled with loving guidance and care for the Soul

<< It would be an impossibility to find ourselves in the presence of God and find anything of a harmonious nature missing in our experience, because ‘I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.’ How could we possibly have the presence of that I, the presence of that God, and not have life and have it more abundantly? But to seek people, or places, or conditions would be to seek outside the realm of God. In that way lies trouble. Many have been destroyed by the very things they have devoted their lives to seeking, but no one has ever been destroyed by seeking and finding God. Seeking God leads to realization, to the actual experience of God. The Master well knew that in that experience we have all because he said: ‘Your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. . . . for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.’ 

To comprehend the full meaning of the Master's statement, we must understand the nature of God. Probably all of us have been taught from childhood that there is a God, but few of us know what God is. If we could put aside all books, including the Bible, and live with but one question in our mind, ‘What is God?’ meditating day and night on that question, ultimately, God Itself would reveal the answer. We would have to do this, however, with a mind completely free of all concepts of God and begin as if we were completely alone with God. We would not accept anybody else's opinion, anybody else's experience, or anybody else's point of view: We would have our own experience with God. If we could do that, we should find that, sooner or later, God would reveal Itself to us in such unmistakable terms that never again would we have any doubts as to what God is or how to pray. >>

~ Joel Goldsmith ~

 I Am

Letting go my desires ...

Life is a Gift. Life is always flowing. All our desires naturally surface to the top because its all a part of the moving and flowing of life. The desire for any given thing at any given moment is very temporary.  Its an emotion, a feeling that will pass. Suffering comes from wanting to acquire the things in life we don't really need and, as a result, getting stuck in that moment.

In a world and time where most material commodities are tempting to purchase and own immediately, discretion is a virtue I value more than ever now, and it has become my close friend. I have found a very simple way of releasing my desires.  I believe most of the stuff we desire, we do not really need.  Most things I have wanted are just because ....... They are like the many products I desire and want to buy immediately from the online store. Suddenly there is such an urgency to acquire the desire of the moment. However, instead of buying them immediately, I place them in "My Wishlist" folder. After a week my desire has naturally passed without any struggle and that intensity to acquire that 'something' just flows away without a struggle and without me even noticing that it has passed.

I am applying this simple, but highly effective tool for me, in my cleansing and releasing routine.  It takes away the struggle and justifications one has when the desire to own something overrules the need to have it. Life is more fun to just observe this person called "Lavina" in this lifetime.  It is definitely more peaceful and joyous.

"You truly can reach a state in which you never have any more stress, tension , or problems for the rest of your life. You just have to realize that life is giving you a gift, and that gift is the flow of events that take place between your birth and your death.  These events are exciting, challenging and create tremendous growth."  ~ The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer ~

Namaste!

"Enlightenment"

"As I often say, "enlightenment" is a misnomer because the process of expanding wholeness is eternal. There was no beginning, there will be no end, and there is no final enlightenment.  What a relief!  Rather, there is a progression into ever more enlightening experience."

~ Excerpt from the book "Forgiving The Unforgivable" by Master Charles Cannon 

 I have the habit of reading many books at the same time, not always completing any one of them as I should in an orderly fashion simply because I see my books as learning devices and everyday I get new inspiration as to which device I should employ.  The last two days had me back to diving into "Forgiving the Unforgivable"  because I decided to give myself more time into contemplation than I normally do. And as always, my heart is always put to rest with just the right teaching at the most appropriate time.  I am a universal believer. I am not bound down by any one particular philosophy or religion.  In my heart there is only The One.  Period.  That is my spirituality and my religion.

Everyone of us life beings, are exactly where we are supposed to be. We are of course not meant to stagnate there at that point, but we are meant to soul-evolve. True soul evolution (for me) is when the meaning of one's life becomes clear from within one's self and  becoming aware of the inspirations that follow along the way for further growth.  No one can tell you that. Everyone can share.  But no one's view is valid for another. If it is does become so, it will only be up to a point.  The wisdom is to understand when to move on in the personal journey.

I am grateful for Master Charles Cannon's view on enlightenment because this is what I have always believed.  I feel the same about the process of "awakening" as well. I can't imagine there being a one-stop enlightenment and awakening deal.  If that was so, I would seriously be questioning the "eternality" of life.   Its all a process. A daily process as far as my own life is concerned and I imagine it must be for others too.  

I have given up the comfortable idea that all is well in the sense that there is going to be no chronic pain any more or that there is never going to be another conflict or disagreement in my world, etc. There is always something or the other going on and always will be, BUT, I am beginning to suffer far less than I used to. People are people. And each person is so unique and individual that to try to expect any standard behavior or code of conduct from anyone is ridiculous and setting myself up for acute disappointment, which, by the way, I have done atleast a zillion times. But once again, in my process of awakening, things have changed even further along the way. Amen to that!

I have now, with much gratitude to Life, been enjoying a new learning process.  Its a process of complete acceptance surrender and letting go my expectations, beliefs, habits, etc. Now, I have been doing this for years (or so I thought) but apparently not quite so effectively.  I am learning in a fresh new way that to take off the psychological pressure and burden I put on myself, I need to be super conscious every moment. There is no such thing as a little letting go here or little holding back there. Its ALL or nothing!  The effects of a little letting go, is only going to secure a little, short lived happiness. But surrendering and letting go completely ... ah! now we are talking! ... that's completely different ball game altogether.  My 56th birthday last month brought this into an unexpected, uncomfortable but the much needed and necessary realization of the self at yet another level of BE-ing.  My gratitude is boundless.

Life is not for suffering or not suffering.  Its purely for JOY - a Cosmic Joy because The Divine is extremely playful and delighting in Its own creation.  This idea takes a very, very long time to understand given the seriousness of our human nature and how we perceive and believe this world is and should be. The collective sense of humor does not exist. Most of the world sees a darkness. I think what happened with me was that I was deeply involved in suffering and reliving the idea of abandonment for so long, that it had become deeply embedded in my cells and therefore producing the same reactions and results over and over and over again. Actually, that is what happened exactly to be perfectly honest and real.

And one day (recently) I just burst out laughing.  It was hysterical.  This whole "abandonment" issue felt ridiculously, stupidly and funnily hysterical.  I do not know why it took this long to snap out of it.  There must be an unseen reason which my Soul will definitely reveal to me now that I have broken the record of my own record of martyred suffering and pain!! That is awakening progress for sure. The form I was seeing in front me day in and day out made me suddenly realize how I allowed myself to suffer unnecessarily. It seems it was my choice to see myself in constant pain in one area of my life and happy in another. I've no idea how I pulled that one off for so long but it certainly had to crack open one day! I am quite sure when something becomes so intense it has to break eventually whether that's the thought system, a relationship, a behavior, or whatever.  One eventually gets to see the comedy of one's life. Usually that happens long after the experience is over when we reminisce about the past!

A lovely reminder to keep me going.  Thank You. 

Excerpted from "Forgiving The Unforgivable" by Master Charles Cannon 

"Consciousness is entertained by its own play and if you are having a truthful perception of reality you should likewise be entertained by your life experience.  Witnessing your life is like going to the theatre.  One night it is tragedy: pathos, negation, and war.  At the end of the play, you applaud as you walk out, saying, "Well, that was a good tragedy.  I really enjoyed it." 

The next night is a comedy and there you are in the audience again, saying it was a good comedy, that you enjoyed it and you are applauding again.  Ideally you remain in witness consciousness regardless, watching and enjoying both tragedy and comedy. Of course most people jump up on the stage and become part of the play!  They project themselves and interfere. The don't remain wakeful in the here and now in witness consciousness simply watching. 

If you do learn how to remain in witness consciousness, delighting in your play, both comedy and tragedy, you actually learn to enjoy it all.  It is entertainment!  Of course, since the play of consciousness is multi dimensional, you begin to experience life much more fully than you ever could from just watching a play or a movie on the two dimensional screen."

Namaste!

TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON

I love the idea of taking many breaks during the year away from the same old usual stuff I am prone to doing throughout the year as a matter of habit.  I love moving away from the world and into my own cave of silence to try and make sense of my life at any given point in time.  I have been doing this for quite sometime now and the last quarter has been dedicated to deeply wandering within and being radically honest about more and more stuff in my life.  To live consciously is to live from the super-consciousness vibration rather than from the vibration of the body.  Joy and suffering are consistently changing places when one lives from the body consciousness. Too long of doing this creates serious problems physically, mentally and emotionally. Self Love is about taking time off everyday to nourish the parts of us that get battered when we feel wounded by the happenings of the world and soothing our inner child and allowing love to deeply heal every aspect of us - the inner child, the inner mom and the inner dad - so that we come in perfect alignment with The Blessed Trinity and feel Whole and Complete always. 

I love this reminder by Guy Finley.  

Simplicity is Spiritual Stability

by Guy Finley

Key Lesson: The more complex your life, the more vulnerable it is to the random exterior forces that can cause it to come crashing down. This is why -- speaking both physically and psychologically -- the simpler your life, the more stable it is; when one's peace of mind requires juggling many parts... all the more easily does one's peace come tumbling down. 

    Let Go and Be at Peace

Being at peace, and learning to live with quiet confidence -- even as the world spins wildly around us -- begins as we realize within us the presence and power of an interior stillness that neither needs, nor searches for, anything outside of itself in order to quietly know itself.

During these last three months of the year -- as we watch the life force of nature withdraw itself -- we see fields of green turn from gold to brown. Leaves lose their sheen and fall, without ceremony, to the earth that will consume them. Still, in all of this we know there is nothing to fear. Great nature must take her rest in order to resume being active again when conditions allow. It is our time as well to embrace this natural repose, letting go of whatever lives within us that wants to drive us forward without regard for our need to rest.

With Loving Gratitude.

Changes

Everything is changing at every level. I can feel and see the changes every single day. New things are happening. New developments taking place. Most nights my dreams inform me of further and deeper changes and showing me what more needs to go, who else needs my forgiveness and I theirs, reminders of people I have lost touch with - was parting a peaceful process or was there pain in the equation, etc., etc.?? I Am 'seeing' Life for what it is, not for what I want it to be. Looking at each moment this way removes resistance to change.  Everything is changing whether we are aware or not.  At home most of all the old stuff is just breaking down literally!! We are adapting to the changes.  We are building new things, removing old stuff, creating as much simplicity as we possibly can in our lives (my husband and I).  This does not mean that its all just new, new, new!  The old shadow self tends to creep back again and again but it has become so much easier to recognize the shadows now. To bring Light into my life is always about remembering my True Self.

All Is Well.

~ Lavina ~

Staying in Alignement

Things always seem to slide back to the 'old' when I forget my Identity as "I AM".  It almost feels like a dare to say "I Am God" when I try to affirm myself back to Super-consciousness vibration.  It needs a strong foundation of belief, confidence, faith and strength to bring myself back to the centeredness of my Being. Asking the Angels to help me back to the recognition of my True Identity opens up my mind and heart to receive, remember and realign with The Source. Once pure life begins to pulsate through every cell in my body, I can literally feel the transformation and the Light warming my body and mind with Love.

There are so many moments in the day when one feels exhausted, tired and washed up. Taking a moment to rest, breathe deep for a while, calms, rejuvenates and revitalizes me. Self nurturing and Self Love are key elements to remember always. I like that my Heart holds all the answers I need to keep connected to my Soul and move through the day joyfully and through the night rest in God.

~ Lavina ~

There are no winners and losers. There are only Learners.

Most things in this world do not need to be reasoned out.  Perspective is an interesting thing.  A change of perspective is equal to change of mind.  That is my savior.

Yesterday I came across an article on the internet "Why 'letting go' and 'detachment' can be pitfalls on the spiritual path" http://theyogalunchbox.co.nz/why-letting-go-and-detachment-can-be-pitfalls-on-the-spiritual-path/   It is an interesting read and it started with a question I have held in my mind ever since I became aware of the concept of letting go and releasing. 

The question: If you have never bonded with your mother and so have never experienced secure attachment in a primary relationship, how can you work with non-attachment? And letting go? When you have never really experienced having anything to hold onto?

Since this is question is so relevant to me I just wanted to share how I finally dealt with it. I have always wanted to blog about it but never found the most appropriate time to do it.  This time is as good as any because I am in a continuous process of deep transition.

Childhood abandonment is a trauma that needs immense self love, self understanding, self inquiry and a deep desire to find peace with it.  It requires a DECISION to let the feelings of pain and rejection go and a COMMITMENT to honor that decision.  As I studied more and more about the spiritual life and how illusion played in as the overall factor in relationship to the game of life, I began to understand this world and the identity I am wearing now is certainly not what I am.  Every belief and rule in this world has been made up by many minds of illusion (mass consciousness) and the belief system carried down the ages.  I eventually began to understand that my 'coming into this world' and the suffering and hardship thing is a product of my mind.  In essence I am perfect and pure and so is every other living soul.  In truth there is no 'coming into this world', or a mother and father, or family, etc. etc. etc. Its a very hard concept to follow and it is not easy.  Its a process and a releasing and letting go moment to moment.  Meditation, contemplation and self inquiry served as my tools and  opened up a deeper understanding of my small self and The Higher Self.  I only  knew one thing for sure and that was I am not alone. I am surrounded by unseen protective and loving forces. Whenever I have needed protection and divine intervention in the most intense and fearful situations in my life, help has always ALWAYS come in the most mystifying ways the moment I asked for it.  You have to ASK.  That is the key.

I finally came to feel from the core of my being that I belong to no one and no thing. I stand alone with my Mother-Father Creator.  Therefore, it only stands to reason everything else is false and untrue ... all part of the game of life and illusion to be played like any other game except that in this game there are no winners and losers. There are only Learners.  You learn that you are your own teacher and student and in this life, the learning for me is to REMEMBER who I Am and who I am not and playing the role of abandonment and overcoming it is all part of the 'reality show'.  I began to understand the unity of Life in all things.  The learning never ends.  No matter what happens, I am loved more than I will ever be able to comprehend in this body.  But I am not in a hurry to prove anything.  There's nothing to prove and no one to prove to, not because there is nothing and no one, but because each is part of the web of life. Though some continue to hang on to the belief of their own self righteousness, that too is part of the game of life understood by the Soul alone.  The human body cannot understand beyond the human body.

A beautiful web indeed.  Perfect, delicate and golden. And so it is.

~ Lavina ~ 

The Illusion Field of Flowers

My appreciation continues for the pulsating and rhythmic reminder of how blessed, loved and cared for each of us are.  This simple fact gets lost in translation very often.  If it is for the higher good of all, that which manifests on the physical plane, becomes a very precious gift because that gift is not for the individual alone but a constant sharing with the rest of the world by keeping one's vibration high and therefore letting the energy of love move and spread in all direction. There's nothing to be done really - no preaching and teaching.  Just a be-ing. Since all minds are joined, the invisible energy from my Higher Self will flow and connect at the heart and mind level with others.  There is only Divine Mind and therefore this is the surest way to consciously touch on the live connecting thread of unity consciousness.

As I sit on my reclining chair and gaze up at the cool night sky, I offer up the old tendencies of my old life that still keeps showing up when my mind is not gainfully engaged.  It is a reminder to me that the inner journey never began and therefore can never end, and, that the choice always lies with me to remember this Truth.  I was feeling very unsettled because  I was beginning to feel dragged down by some old stories that I used to tell myself in the past which usually ended up in confirming to me what  a looser I am.  I always believed the big mouth of my small self.  But this time,as I sulked away and held a one woman pity party, I suddenly snapped out of it!!  Just like that!!  A deep sense of relief overcame me.  I got it!  At last the reminder of my True Being lit up my mind naturally and without any effort.  Something has truly changed within.  The agony of 'trying to change' is over.  It has became less of a struggle now.  Wow! never thought that would happen!

I can never go back to the part of me that whinged, whined, moaned and groaned about everyone else's hand  (except my own) in my misery.  I realised how easy it was to cheer up others and tell them big spiritual stuff about life and all things wise that they were supposedly ignorant about.  That is the biggest fool's game ever. You know the end of a lost cause when you begin to see it as that - a lost cause. The only conscious reason I will walk over to the field of illusion is when I begin to believe that the field of illusion is growing flowers and that I can actually 'walk' over to that field!  What an illusion indeed.

With Inner Blessings,

~ Lavina ~ 

Looking Up in Benediction

Nothing can be more enchanting, more mystical, more miraculous ... more of everything good, beautiful and bounteous ... than standing on the rooftop of my home and just looking up at the endless vastness of the sky at night covered in stars ... the gentle cool breeze flowing through every cell of my Being making my head spin and my heart warm in total gratitude for my life and the endless possibilities that is offered to me every moment.  My life is simple and filled with all that is Spirit.  Sometimes I see It and sometimes I don't.  I'm constantly engaged one way or the other always mindful of a Power and Presence that is far far beyond me, beyond the heavens I look up at, and, look up to - so far exceeding this universe, and yet, It is within me too, prodding me, prompting me to make my ordinary little duties "extra"-ordinary so that my life shines like the stars above.

As I look up in benediction, all the events of my life of that day just float up into the vastness and eternity of heaven and disappears to God knows where ... Perhaps they find their way to The Divine Essence to be absorbed into the nothingness that we essentially are.  Who knows?  But I feel lighter and uplifted ready to be snugged in and loved by my welcoming bed to lull me into deep sleep that will actually take me up into the heavens my eyes witnessed.

And here I Am once again into a brand new day glistening and shinning with new possibilities.  And I Am hugely grateful for the Love of The Divine which is what I Am.

With Love & Inner Blessings,

~ Lavina ~

The Breath of Spirit

When I breathe deep, I Am acknowledging my Sacred Divine Self.  

When I breathe deep, I Am opening the lines of communication between me and my Creator.

When I breathe deep, I Am asking Spirit to commune with me while I listen quietly.

My Breath is the link to The Holy Breath, The Life Giving Source that exists within and around me.

Spirit Breath, Holy Breath, Source of Life, Giver of Life .... what more do I need than Thee?

The word "awakening" is the most played out word in the world today.  Its interpretations are varied and almost ridiculous to the point that if you follow all the information about it in the world, you will go nuts. Atleast that is what has happened to me. I've simply gone nuts listening to most of them.  Spiritual Discernment is a virtue to hold on to when engaging with the world. There are many who give you a spiel about what words like "enlightenment" and "awakening" mean which ofcourse comes from their own personal inspiration and understanding which is a good thing so long as they do not force their ideas and beliefs on an unsuspecting, "unenlightened" and "unawakened" seeker.

I am not discounting the truly awakened.  You don't hear much of them because they don't advertise themselves.  People go to them and seek them out.  They are absolutely and completely happy in their own Bliss and willing to include you in their mantle of love if you are seeking it.  Christ Awakened ones are the ones you have to look for in this world.  If you have found one (no matter which part of the world), then Grace has found you for sure.  

I have met many online "awakened" folks and they have thankfully given me a first hand lesson on what not to be on the spiritual path.  What they have propelled me to do however, is to sink deeper and deeper into my own Divine Self and look for all of my answers there.

In my mind and heart, awakening happens every moment.  When I take a deep, mindful breath, I FEEL Spirit just spreading Itself in every cell of my being and beyond.  I feel relieved, released, safe, joy, love and ready for the next moment which is already now in this moment. I am not concerned about another because I see all others melted into this ONE Blissful Being.

What happens in my heart, no one can know unless you communicate with me through your heart, in which case the modalities of communication are completely out of this world.  Don't try putting words to your communication.  You will only bosh it up and make a mess.  If you want to speak to my heart, my heart is open - come join me.  In there all my defenses are down and I am completely open and vulnerable.

With Inner Blessings,

~ Lavina ~

Dance & Clap!

Life is truly a dance.  Some days you get the steps perfect and some days rhythm and harmony are out of the window! It bodes well for me to remember always to stay detached whatever the mood.

These days my self learning has gone up a notch.  I'm more eager now to gain deeper wisdom from my experiences not just for my own life to feel magnificent and worthy, but because I will have more meaningful and state-of-the-heart answers for my grandchildren.

My younger grandson (4 years) loves it when everyone claps for him on completion of any 'task' assigned to him.  His mother says she has aching hands by the end of the day!!  How wonderful for us we have a STAR in our family! 

Being @ Home With Grace

Home is where the heart and hearth is.  If you have found even one person whom you can call HOME you have found GRACE.  Grace has never been lost.  It IS and has always been ever present.  Grace has to be found within oneself, recognized and acknowledged for you to truly understand the magnitude of Divine Blessings.  Home is Family.  Family is where you are dwelling right now.  You carry its essence everywhere. And if you have found just one person who somewhat personifies that for you, then you are truly in alignment with Grace.

Prayer

Deep prayer breaks you down.  It melts you.  It lulls you to a place of rest and at the same time invigorates and infuses you with cosmic vitality and energy. It calms you and brings images and feelings of quietude, streams of peaceful running waters, calm seas and flowing rivers into your consciousness.  It brings coolness to the mind and a gentle breeze that sweeps the heart of all the pain and suffering of the moment.

Prayer is necessary.  It quietens the Soul and brings you face to face with The Divine.

Spectacular

Since I embarked upon the idea of doing something spectacular (for the first time in my life) in partnership with a very dear Anam Cara (Soul Friend), the foundation of my life seems to be rocking!  I can feel this.  I know this.  Its like Divine Presence has got me upside down hanging by my toes and shaking out all the various nightmares I have been having ever since .... I don't know when .... See! that's the clue.  I don't know when.  Nightmares are ghostly things that have to be shaken off. They are not real.  Even the word 'real' has become too clichéd, so instead let me say that nightmares take away my Joy.  That should suffice.  I am letting go -  all stuff ... Releasing and letting go is part of being in this Realm.  Its a continuous process.  I'm emptying myself ... this way the scales can be completely removed from my eyes and I will begin to see the 'other' side of heaven! To do something spectacular, one has to draw from the Spectacular.

To be Spectacular is our birthright, our inheritance.

To My Anonymous Friend, Thank You!

Last night I received a beautiful and loving anonymous email from a Beautiful Soul from somewhere out there in the world thanking me so graciously for making a difference in her life.  I was especially touched by the fact that she took the time to write and express her sincere gratitude and thanks and in the process she motivated me to be even more committed to my making a difference in the world in whatever way that may be.  I am so grateful for this gift from her.

Unknown to me she has  been reading my blogs and has felt inspired and motivated by them.  My heart did a dance because it felt so good to make a difference in some one's life - anyone, actually.  Even if one person feels lifted by my own sharing, then I am happy because I know what a big difference it makes having been lifted myself from the depths of depression and pain by just reading about someone else's life transformations.  A line here, a phrase there, a quote from somewhere, a piece of music, a sharing of a personal experience, etc.- all things shared touches somebody's heart somewhere on this planet since all minds are joined to The One Divine Mind.

I was marveling at the timing of this email from my Anonymous Friend because I was so engrossed in reading Swami Vivekananda's lecture on Karma Yoga (the link is below at the bottom of this blog under the head of "Karma Yoga" the entire day yesterday and loved his guidance on doing service without any expectation of any kind of reward or payment whatsoever in any form.  He says we should just work without attachment.  Yes, this is a very old concept, but more and more these days it is becoming difficult to treat our services in that way.  A lot of mindfulness is required to change our consciousness in order that we evolve higher and higher.  

I am loving all the synchronicities and the affirmations that are appearing so seamlessly side by side as I find something new to relearn each day. Just writing a thank you to someone and not asking to be known is truly divine.  

To YOU Dear Beautiful Soul, may you be richly blessed always.

With Love and Gratitude from my heart to yours.  :))

Web Weaver

My Oracle Reading for today is the perfect start to a brand new blog : AUGUST.  

Each year August is always a great time for me to start thinking afresh, new, beautiful and lofty because it takes me right into my birthday in September with renewed intentions to constantly Release, Let Go, Accept, Surrender and Receive all that is new and incredible, amazing and magical.  August is transformational and cleansing.  This awesome month is awashed with the monsoon rains and a lot of cleansing, restoration and healing takes place during this time whether we are conscious about it or not.  Nature does what She has to do.  And it is always good.

This August has been so far, and continues to be, an amazing month of realizations, inspirations, synchronicities.  Many light bulbs moments and awakening moments.  Perhaps for the first time, I feel deeply connected from within. I used to feel connected before, but this is just very different. I cannot even explain it adequately. A lot of old, ancient stuff seems to just drop away and those feelings and emotions that could'nt find its way to The Light in the past, have finally managed to start their journey upwards for transformation.  My eyes appear to be 'seeing' differently and my life seems to be taking on new meaning in all areas.  That is not to say that all is shinning and glowing.  NO! On the contrary, the lows are becoming incredibly low and suddenly from nowhere there's a light streaming through amdst the intense darkness I am experiencing a lot of the times.  And suddenly as it happens, it disappears and I feel  like I am riding on the crest of the waves of an ocean and when I come down to touch the ground of Being, a deep sense of peace comes over me.  And life keeps on keeping on.

The Web Weaver

Synchronicity, Divine intelligence, cause and effect

Ally

The Web Weaver rejoices that your creations are far-reaching and have positive effects on the many. Every action, every thought, every word and deed, is woven into the web of creation. When the Web Weaver appears as your Ally, she grants you the way to others of like mind and intention and lets you know you're not alone in your endeavors. Just when you need to make a connection, like magic, synchronicity occurs. Music reverberates through the web and plays in harmony with your own. This is a sign to trust in the connectivity between all events. Magic is afoot for you. If your query is about a relationship, the Web Weaver gives you assurance that meaningful coincidence comes through to give you reason to hope. Potential grows into reality with care and patience. Remember that the web reaches far and wide, and you're only capable of perceiving a small part of it. Trust and pay attention to the patterns you see play out in your life. All things will be revealed through the web