I'm Deeply In Love.

"The heart is a temple of this power; we must go there. The Violet Light energy provides the opening of this temple in a new way, as it casts aside and gets rid of all the thick overgrowth that hides the access to the temple.  Then it blasts the doors open and goes in to ignite the power of love contained within the soul.  This is the gift that we are given in these times of change and immense evolution: a fast way into the power source of our lives."

Source: "The Violet Light:The Power That Changes Everything / You Need To Free Your Soul Power / by Paco Alarcon Kahan.

I am in a new relationship with The Violet Light.  Presently, I am a love struck soul totally besotted by the incredible love we each are held in by God.  My relationship is new with this amazing Lover because now it is intimate. I am already feeling the cracks and loosening of the most rigid parts of me which just could'nt be softened or broken before - ever - no matter what practices I did. Something wild is happening now and I am feeling feelings I have never experienced in my life and it is only the beginning. I am kind of breaking down within slowly, but surely.  Its like the energy of the rising sun at dawn. As it begins to surface - almost peeping at the world with its amazing light hues - you are held in wonder by its sheer God Power and Presence. The rising is slow within me but it is just as spectacular! Its now rushing me to come to Its Light. It coaxes and soothes me as it brings up within me very gently the most deepest pains I was experiencing my whole life and showing me that its okay ... everything is just going to be okay.  I know this to be absolutely true because today was the first day since the last ten years, that I DANCED!!!  I danced early morning (5.30 am) to the beats of the most appropriate music.  Yes, I danced.  I could'nt earlier because there was too much pain in my body, but today I danced.  I was inspired to view this video which came into my inbox, and I did. And before I knew it, I was dancing with wild abandon. The happy faces of all the people featuring in this video made it so easy to fall into beat. And there was not a trace of pain.

 

I can see more clearly now. There's too much heartache in worldly love. You can never get it right no matter how hard you try. If by chance you score, be sure the experience is only fleeting and love flies out of the window the moment circumstances change. For those who appear to have love in their life (be it family, relationships, friendships, etc.), we think of them to be so lucky, or perhaps they have really good karma, or perhaps God is just unfair! I used to feel that constantly. The lack of it depressed me alot. I felt I was being severely punished. I had to constantly work hard for approval. No matter hard I tried, it never seemed enough. Don't get me wrong. I am loved by my husband and those who matter to me. But that love is not the love that I am talking about. I am talking about the very ESSENCE OF WHO WE ARE. I'm talking about  the Love that rains down from heaven. Ofcourse we often confuse it all. But all of these thoughts I held about myself are fast changing now. Here's the truth: none of the beliefs we hold about love in this world is true at all - not one bit! Once you feel this with your very being, the Truth will set you free. The world actually knows nothing about love. The love in the world is counterfeit and a cheap imitation of the Real thing which comes directly from The Source of all Love. Only Grace opens our hearts and eyes. Grace comes from God and there's an abundance of Grace if you turn your attention heavenwards. The Love that exists beyond the shadows of the worldly love, we are told by the Masters, is far beyond anyone's imagination and it is the real deal.  It is waiting with open arms for every soul to come back to its Divine Embrace. My Heart knows this completely. We all have this deeper and inner knowing already.  I'm in Love.  Deeply in love. 

My Life feels so perfect and divine now and I can see how everything - every single thing in my life - was exactly how it was meant to be. Without all of that I would'nt be here right now, this moment giving praise and thanks for who I AM now.

 What can I say, I am in Love ... With God!!  My gratitude is boundless.  Praise the Lord O my Soul and all that is within me praise His Holy Name. Aum. Amen.

Truly, life is more than we perceive ..............

Truly, life is more than we perceive with our naked eyes. It has taken me a lifetime to actually experience this personally. The people in our lives help us to push past our small thinking in such a big way and they are not even aware of it.  We are completely ignorant of how important we are to not only our own learning, but to the teaching and understanding of another's by the very presence of our existence. That's quite something. Imagine, what would happen if we can actually become conscious of the importance of the very reasons we are alive in this moment of time. Thinking this way is eternal. Whether we know it or not, the very purpose of life is to be  a leading light for someone else, even if the candle is not burning so brightly.  Its blurred temporarily. But that blurriness itself serves a purpose.  We think  we are 'doing' stuff - spiritual stuff, life stuff, emotional stuff, friendship stuff, family stuff, etc. ... that its all just stuff ...but its not just stuff. Everything is serving a purpose. Its not only not just stuff, its stuff that we are actually not doing at all. Its just being done through the perfect flow of life.  Its why we cannot understand most things in life.  And I am content with this understanding for the moment.  After all, its not me.  Then who is it?  Good question. I think its God just being, thinking and doing God.

God. I love the idea of God. It keeps me busy.

To All My Mothers

Death comes to all.  It leaves a vacuum that is difficult to fill.  As a witness to someone dying, the experience can be whatever one makes of it.  After a while everything is back to normal and Life goes on.  It is when life goes back to normal, that everything actually begins to appear different ... the absence of that person is felt in the smallest ways and in the tiniest details.  No matter who that person is, no matter what the relationship, no matter how the person treated you, if you have been in that person's life closely especially in the dying years, you still feel the pain deep in your soul.  If the relationship never healed, the one left behind is left wondering what to do next in this painful absence.  

In truth, there is nothing one can do.  The only thing that is possible is to live through those feelings and take it deep into your core, open yourself completely and totally to The Divine.  Surrender.  Fall on your knees. Raise your hands in gratitude because all that is going to happen after that is going to be SPECTACULAR!!. New lessons will emerge.  Synchronicities, Healing, Awareness and Freedom will rise up  like a rainbow. You have to wait with open arms and an open heart.  Create new intentions.  Recreate your life. Become conscious about your life like never before.  Choose Life in every possible way in all your interactions. Choose The Divine because that is exactly what you will need especially, and the most, at the time of your own death.  Every death portends change. Death is always a good omen.  It precedes Resurrection. 

Suffering is a choice.  Choose Freedom.  

Suffering is a gift.  Choose Acceptance.  

Suffering is healing. Choose Life.  

At all times choose Life.  Life fosters.  

Life makes Death a Renewal and a Resurrection if you have made Spirit choices.  And no matter what happens, no matter what dis-ease or illness befalls you, you will feel and experience your Higher Self  in its grandest version.  It will be standing TALL and EXPANSIVE embracing YOU.  Every Soul has that massive and expansive ring of love circling it, but only the one that has been God conscious will actually feel Its Love, Light and Enfoldment. And Death will become Amrita, Nectar. Transition will be Homecoming. 

Many years ago when I started reading The Bhagavad Gita, I remember how fascinated I was by the sheer beauty of the words in this incredible Book.  It was a time when I was trying to find my Soul and my Self. Every word IS Bliss. The fact that I am still a Spiritual Enthusiast and a Wannabe Mystic twenty years later is because The Bhagavad Gita assures us that NOTHING THAT WE LEARN SPIRITUALLY IN THIS LIFE WILL EVER BE WASTED.  Spiritual learning continues eternally in a seamless way.  That was the best thing ever for me spiritually.  Its the only reason that I have not given up my path to my inner Self.  It continues blissfully, no matter what.

In his amazing book "The Second Coming of Christ: The Resurrection of the Christ Within You", Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda says beautifully:

"In titling this work The Second Coming of Christ, I am not referring to a literal return of Jesus to earth. He cane two thousand years ago and, after imparting a universal path to God's kingdom, was crucified and resurrected; His appearance to the masses is now not necessary for the fulfillment of His teachings.  What is necessary is for the cosmic wisdom and divine perception of Jesus to speak again through each one's own experience and understanding, of the Infinite Christ Consciousness that was incarnate in Jesus. That will be His true Second Coming." ~ Paramahansa Yogananda

And that is what one's Life true calling is: Awakening to the Christ Consciousness within one's self and embodying The Christ Consciousness - not a tall order, if we DECIDE we want this to be the only Truth in our lives.  Atleast, that is what it has become for me now - my Soul is deeply longing for its perfect unfoldment.

Tibetan Buddhism refers to all Souls as Mothers.  In "Training the Mind", the seventh verse summarizes the true Buddhist practice in the following words:

In brief, may I offer benefit and joy

To all my mothers, both directly and indirectly,

May I quietly take upon myself

All hurts and pains of my mothers.

The meaning of these lines can be read in full here: http://www.dalailama.com/teachings/training-the-mind/verse-7

I dedicate this blog to my Mother, Edna, who passed on from this incarnation to her new assignment in Spirit on 7th November 2014. Her life has tremendous meaning for me and has served the purpose for which her soul incarnated as my mother.  May she be at peace always.

I also dedicate this writing to all my Mothers (every person - both male and female -  who has crossed my Life path ever since I was born into this world) because every single one of YOU, no matter who you are, and how you have impacted my life, YOU have been instrumental in kindling my Inner Flame. May each of YOU be happy and at ease.

AUM

Namaste!

I have stopped believing in the world.

One of the reasons I love Joel Goldsmith's teachings is that he gets right down to it.  He gets me right into the heart of the matter - God.  His writings have been very inspirational to me and has brought me back into the sense of my own True Reality the numerous times I have fallen or strayed away from my Center.  

Recently I have been experiencing a whole range of emotional meltdowns which have been really extreme.  I think it feels extreme because it is on its way out and the ego is trying to kick and scream to stay.  It tricks me back into hanging on to it by declaring promises of change. It pretends to be nice, be good, be better and if that is not enough, it wants to engage me in dead end, so-called supportive questions like "what do you think,eh?" making me believe that it truly wants to help me, but all the time knowing that its motive is completely different.  Of course not! it does'nt want to be helpful!!  It wants to feed on the usual chaotic way in which I have responded in the past.  The moment the environment begins to show signs of peaceful existence, the ego will not have it.  It stirs up the dust, kicks and puffs, cries and gets all victimized bringing attention on to itself and thereby starting another flare-up.  In the past I have fallen for it like a zillion times. But now, finally, its over - my tryst with the ego.  I have stopped responding to its bates.

You know, there are so many teachings out there, so many scriptures, and really good books and teachers all teaching you to overcome the ego. You want to change, you want to overcome and be better at responding the noises in your head, in the world, etc. That's why you go for training sessions and courses and every teacher expects that now his/her student is going to come out a winner overcoming the ego. According to my experience its not that simple. Its not so much the intention as it is the attention to the change we propose to make. Breaking away from the ego is the most difficult. That is part of the game play on Earth. If it were that easy the world would be a different place to behold already.  In a way actually, the world IS Heaven to behold - but only once the world I see in my mind is removed. 

Its not the big things to overcome.  Its the smallest, tiniest, the most subtle aspects of ourselves that are forgotten because we somehow have not been used to dealing with those aspects.  We are constantly looking at the big things, big tragedies, big wars, big viruses, big diseases ... all out there.  But all these 'out there' scenarios continue to get churned and reproduced by these small little 'sins' we have not even noticed within..  Every moment, there is a challenge.  Not because we have a competitive god, but because the Soul needs constant nurturing and attention.  The Soul needs for me to constantly remain in my "I AM-ness". And depending on how much effort one puts into that change, one will understand one's life in exactly that proportion. Wherever your feet have landed in your consciousness in any given situation and how one responds to it, from that space of understanding will one respond.  For each soul it is different and each must tend to its own garden.  No one from the world can be fully involved in that process. And so, for that we need intense attention to the mind. After all, haven't we heard so often that the world is only an effect?  Its like watching TV.  You can only see the programmes that are available to see. And now in this digital age, you can watch only the programmes you pay for. There are many freebies, but you don't want them because they are not worth watching! So, what is the state of my spiritual finances? That is a good question I keep asking myself.

These past couple of months have been enlightening and awakening in more ways than one. I can feel the strength of my own will has gotten better.  I rely less and less on the 'outside' word.  When I literally open my physical eyes, I see the light of the world, which is the effect of all that got sowed in the 'darkness' behind closed eyes.  I noticed how I could explore my "I Am-ness" in that wide open space behind my closed eye lids.  It is a vast terrain and filled with divine potentiality.  No disturbance can enter to help me 'create' a life of joy for myself.  I just have to sit in that place more and more and my rhythm begins to come back to normal.  I feel beyond better; I feel a bliss, a healing, a deep relaxation.  And sometimes I can hear the noises in my head trying to disturb my peace ... noises of the ego that has been dominating my life through various ways and means and it is precisely in this moment when I declare I AM NOT THAT PERSON that I suddenly feel free.  I have believed the world for so long and made all the opinions and comments and criticisms of the world my own. I have buried myself in guilt my whole life. Not anymore. I have believed myself to be all of those people that I am not and I have suffered tremendously for it. Not any more. I no longer pretend to be happy and at ease.  I Am what I Am in this moment, and if this moments feels divine, then I try to stay in that moment for as long as it is possible for me.  If it does not feel divine, then I still try to stay in it as long as possible to let it pass.  And now, as I sit in the deep darkness of my mind shinning with The Light of The Ultimate Reality, I can say with ease and calm I simply Am.  I AM. Period. I Am not this. I Am not that. I AM not the other.  I am simply I AM.  No extensions. No tags. AND THEN I WATCH IT ALL FALLING AWAY ONE BY ONE . All the judgments stop. I look forward to that moment in my consciousness when I can just BE without effort. I AM. And each and every time it feels blissful.

I have found myself going back to this guidance of Joel Goldsmith very often to bring me back to where I belong.  I love this piece. Its filled with loving guidance and care for the Soul

<< It would be an impossibility to find ourselves in the presence of God and find anything of a harmonious nature missing in our experience, because ‘I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.’ How could we possibly have the presence of that I, the presence of that God, and not have life and have it more abundantly? But to seek people, or places, or conditions would be to seek outside the realm of God. In that way lies trouble. Many have been destroyed by the very things they have devoted their lives to seeking, but no one has ever been destroyed by seeking and finding God. Seeking God leads to realization, to the actual experience of God. The Master well knew that in that experience we have all because he said: ‘Your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. . . . for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.’ 

To comprehend the full meaning of the Master's statement, we must understand the nature of God. Probably all of us have been taught from childhood that there is a God, but few of us know what God is. If we could put aside all books, including the Bible, and live with but one question in our mind, ‘What is God?’ meditating day and night on that question, ultimately, God Itself would reveal the answer. We would have to do this, however, with a mind completely free of all concepts of God and begin as if we were completely alone with God. We would not accept anybody else's opinion, anybody else's experience, or anybody else's point of view: We would have our own experience with God. If we could do that, we should find that, sooner or later, God would reveal Itself to us in such unmistakable terms that never again would we have any doubts as to what God is or how to pray. >>

~ Joel Goldsmith ~

 I Am

Letting go my desires ...

Life is a Gift. Life is always flowing. All our desires naturally surface to the top because its all a part of the moving and flowing of life. The desire for any given thing at any given moment is very temporary.  Its an emotion, a feeling that will pass. Suffering comes from wanting to acquire the things in life we don't really need and, as a result, getting stuck in that moment.

In a world and time where most material commodities are tempting to purchase and own immediately, discretion is a virtue I value more than ever now, and it has become my close friend. I have found a very simple way of releasing my desires.  I believe most of the stuff we desire, we do not really need.  Most things I have wanted are just because ....... They are like the many products I desire and want to buy immediately from the online store. Suddenly there is such an urgency to acquire the desire of the moment. However, instead of buying them immediately, I place them in "My Wishlist" folder. After a week my desire has naturally passed without any struggle and that intensity to acquire that 'something' just flows away without a struggle and without me even noticing that it has passed.

I am applying this simple, but highly effective tool for me, in my cleansing and releasing routine.  It takes away the struggle and justifications one has when the desire to own something overrules the need to have it. Life is more fun to just observe this person called "Lavina" in this lifetime.  It is definitely more peaceful and joyous.

"You truly can reach a state in which you never have any more stress, tension , or problems for the rest of your life. You just have to realize that life is giving you a gift, and that gift is the flow of events that take place between your birth and your death.  These events are exciting, challenging and create tremendous growth."  ~ The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer ~

Namaste!

"Enlightenment"

"As I often say, "enlightenment" is a misnomer because the process of expanding wholeness is eternal. There was no beginning, there will be no end, and there is no final enlightenment.  What a relief!  Rather, there is a progression into ever more enlightening experience."

~ Excerpt from the book "Forgiving The Unforgivable" by Master Charles Cannon 

 I have the habit of reading many books at the same time, not always completing any one of them as I should in an orderly fashion simply because I see my books as learning devices and everyday I get new inspiration as to which device I should employ.  The last two days had me back to diving into "Forgiving the Unforgivable"  because I decided to give myself more time into contemplation than I normally do. And as always, my heart is always put to rest with just the right teaching at the most appropriate time.  I am a universal believer. I am not bound down by any one particular philosophy or religion.  In my heart there is only The One.  Period.  That is my spirituality and my religion.

Everyone of us life beings, are exactly where we are supposed to be. We are of course not meant to stagnate there at that point, but we are meant to soul-evolve. True soul evolution (for me) is when the meaning of one's life becomes clear from within one's self and  becoming aware of the inspirations that follow along the way for further growth.  No one can tell you that. Everyone can share.  But no one's view is valid for another. If it is does become so, it will only be up to a point.  The wisdom is to understand when to move on in the personal journey.

I am grateful for Master Charles Cannon's view on enlightenment because this is what I have always believed.  I feel the same about the process of "awakening" as well. I can't imagine there being a one-stop enlightenment and awakening deal.  If that was so, I would seriously be questioning the "eternality" of life.   Its all a process. A daily process as far as my own life is concerned and I imagine it must be for others too.  

I have given up the comfortable idea that all is well in the sense that there is going to be no chronic pain any more or that there is never going to be another conflict or disagreement in my world, etc. There is always something or the other going on and always will be, BUT, I am beginning to suffer far less than I used to. People are people. And each person is so unique and individual that to try to expect any standard behavior or code of conduct from anyone is ridiculous and setting myself up for acute disappointment, which, by the way, I have done atleast a zillion times. But once again, in my process of awakening, things have changed even further along the way. Amen to that!

I have now, with much gratitude to Life, been enjoying a new learning process.  Its a process of complete acceptance surrender and letting go my expectations, beliefs, habits, etc. Now, I have been doing this for years (or so I thought) but apparently not quite so effectively.  I am learning in a fresh new way that to take off the psychological pressure and burden I put on myself, I need to be super conscious every moment. There is no such thing as a little letting go here or little holding back there. Its ALL or nothing!  The effects of a little letting go, is only going to secure a little, short lived happiness. But surrendering and letting go completely ... ah! now we are talking! ... that's completely different ball game altogether.  My 56th birthday last month brought this into an unexpected, uncomfortable but the much needed and necessary realization of the self at yet another level of BE-ing.  My gratitude is boundless.

Life is not for suffering or not suffering.  Its purely for JOY - a Cosmic Joy because The Divine is extremely playful and delighting in Its own creation.  This idea takes a very, very long time to understand given the seriousness of our human nature and how we perceive and believe this world is and should be. The collective sense of humor does not exist. Most of the world sees a darkness. I think what happened with me was that I was deeply involved in suffering and reliving the idea of abandonment for so long, that it had become deeply embedded in my cells and therefore producing the same reactions and results over and over and over again. Actually, that is what happened exactly to be perfectly honest and real.

And one day (recently) I just burst out laughing.  It was hysterical.  This whole "abandonment" issue felt ridiculously, stupidly and funnily hysterical.  I do not know why it took this long to snap out of it.  There must be an unseen reason which my Soul will definitely reveal to me now that I have broken the record of my own record of martyred suffering and pain!! That is awakening progress for sure. The form I was seeing in front me day in and day out made me suddenly realize how I allowed myself to suffer unnecessarily. It seems it was my choice to see myself in constant pain in one area of my life and happy in another. I've no idea how I pulled that one off for so long but it certainly had to crack open one day! I am quite sure when something becomes so intense it has to break eventually whether that's the thought system, a relationship, a behavior, or whatever.  One eventually gets to see the comedy of one's life. Usually that happens long after the experience is over when we reminisce about the past!

A lovely reminder to keep me going.  Thank You. 

Excerpted from "Forgiving The Unforgivable" by Master Charles Cannon 

"Consciousness is entertained by its own play and if you are having a truthful perception of reality you should likewise be entertained by your life experience.  Witnessing your life is like going to the theatre.  One night it is tragedy: pathos, negation, and war.  At the end of the play, you applaud as you walk out, saying, "Well, that was a good tragedy.  I really enjoyed it." 

The next night is a comedy and there you are in the audience again, saying it was a good comedy, that you enjoyed it and you are applauding again.  Ideally you remain in witness consciousness regardless, watching and enjoying both tragedy and comedy. Of course most people jump up on the stage and become part of the play!  They project themselves and interfere. The don't remain wakeful in the here and now in witness consciousness simply watching. 

If you do learn how to remain in witness consciousness, delighting in your play, both comedy and tragedy, you actually learn to enjoy it all.  It is entertainment!  Of course, since the play of consciousness is multi dimensional, you begin to experience life much more fully than you ever could from just watching a play or a movie on the two dimensional screen."

Namaste!

TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON

I love the idea of taking many breaks during the year away from the same old usual stuff I am prone to doing throughout the year as a matter of habit.  I love moving away from the world and into my own cave of silence to try and make sense of my life at any given point in time.  I have been doing this for quite sometime now and the last quarter has been dedicated to deeply wandering within and being radically honest about more and more stuff in my life.  To live consciously is to live from the super-consciousness vibration rather than from the vibration of the body.  Joy and suffering are consistently changing places when one lives from the body consciousness. Too long of doing this creates serious problems physically, mentally and emotionally. Self Love is about taking time off everyday to nourish the parts of us that get battered when we feel wounded by the happenings of the world and soothing our inner child and allowing love to deeply heal every aspect of us - the inner child, the inner mom and the inner dad - so that we come in perfect alignment with The Blessed Trinity and feel Whole and Complete always. 

I love this reminder by Guy Finley.  

Simplicity is Spiritual Stability

by Guy Finley

Key Lesson: The more complex your life, the more vulnerable it is to the random exterior forces that can cause it to come crashing down. This is why -- speaking both physically and psychologically -- the simpler your life, the more stable it is; when one's peace of mind requires juggling many parts... all the more easily does one's peace come tumbling down. 

    Let Go and Be at Peace

Being at peace, and learning to live with quiet confidence -- even as the world spins wildly around us -- begins as we realize within us the presence and power of an interior stillness that neither needs, nor searches for, anything outside of itself in order to quietly know itself.

During these last three months of the year -- as we watch the life force of nature withdraw itself -- we see fields of green turn from gold to brown. Leaves lose their sheen and fall, without ceremony, to the earth that will consume them. Still, in all of this we know there is nothing to fear. Great nature must take her rest in order to resume being active again when conditions allow. It is our time as well to embrace this natural repose, letting go of whatever lives within us that wants to drive us forward without regard for our need to rest.

With Loving Gratitude.